Thursday, May 8, 2014

the socially awkward significant other & the BLOW OFF

"I don't want you to spend your whole life socializing him like he's a stray dog."

This is the warning Hannah gets on an episode of GIRLS from her mom RE: her very eccentric boyfriend Adam.  Maybe it shows my age, but my initial reaction when I first watched this episode a few months back was like "come on Hannah, listen to your mom.  Girlfriend knows what she's talking about!"  Yes, when we're in our twenties men who are socially awkward and slightly insecure and artistic can be REALLY attractive.  But do we really want to spend the rest of our lives holding their hand through every social situation?

As much as we'd like to think a relationship is only about the two people in it, that's not totally the case.  Most of us aren't recluses that don't interact with anyone aside from our significant others.  A good portion of our lives consists of social gatherings that involve friends and family members.  And it's hard when you have a sig-other that you have to worry about in those situations.  Is he going to say the wrong thing?  Is he not going to talk to anyone?  Will everyone think he's a big asshole, because he's silent?  Eventually, it can get to a point where it's just easier to leave them at home and attend parties solo. 

A friend of mine was recently dating a guy she really liked, but there was one huge problem.  She didn't feel like she could take him anywhere.  He was very shy and uncomfortable around her friends and she knew a relationship with him would mean a lot of grooming.  The watershed moment for her came when at a work function, no one wanted to sit next to a colleague's husband who was notoriously socially awkward.

The H-bomb can hold his own in most of the social situations, but every so often, I worry about him saying the wrong thing to the wrong person.  Generally, I try to give him a preamble before the party on subjects that are off limits.  But out of the two of us, I'm definitely the one with more social anxiety.  I'm in no means in "stray dog" territory, but I get nervous even going to parties where I know everyone there.  There's been more than a couple occasions where H-bomb has touched my back as we're knocking on the door of someone's house and he's been like "why are you so sweaty?"  It's cause I'm f%&king nervous and I don't know why.  I know.  Super gross.

I don't think either of us are socially awkward per se-- but I think since we know each other so well, we can pick up on when we're turning into the "party" versions of ourselves.  That person that's a little more on and upbeat than normal.  And that in itself seems awkward. 

What do you guys think?  How important is it to be with someone who interacts well with your friends, family, work colleagues?  Comment below!

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