Thursday, June 19, 2014

A Victory Lap Isn't A "Victory" Ms. Morgan

I don't think that anyone would call me a prude. I love sex and am fairly open about the fact that I love sex. I also love The Real Housewives- of anywhere. I even kind of enjoy Miami. Those women are all so incredibly crazy that they make me feel sane even when I'm having a meltdown. So it's not a surprise that I was watching The Real Housewives of New York last week. Usually, I find Sonja Morgan entertaining. Sure, she's bat-shit crazy and her whole toaster oven debacle still confuses me, but I find her charming- that was until last week.

I will give you a quick recap. One of the new housewives, Kristen, went to Sonja's home to meet her there for a facial. Side note: how someone who's declared bankrupcy can still afford an aesthetician who makes house calls is an anomaly to me but that's neither here nor there. So Kristen arrives and one of Sonja's "interns", Pickles greets her and tells her that Sonja is not home and has not been since the night before. So Kristen awkwardly begins her facial and at one point Sonja comes barreling through the front door of Grey Gardens as if she's being chased by the IRS. She's clad in a baseball cap and oversized t-shirt that's clearly a man's. Not exactly Upper East Side attire. She explains to Pickles that she's wearing this ensemble because her John err....beau from the previous night ripped her dress. She seems like she's clearly still a little drunk but gathers herself enough to meet Kristen, who's mid-facial, on the balcony/terrace/roof/whatever.

Sonja then recounts the story again to Kristen and is beaming. It then cuts to her talking-head interview in which Sonja paraphrases something along the lines of, "Yes I did the walk of shame. But I don't think of it as the walk of shame. I call it a victory lap." Chuckle, chuckle, chuckle. Cut. Victory lap? I'm not quite sure what is victorious about that to Sonja. Maybe she hasn't received the memo but it's not hard for women to find someone who wants to have sex with them. In college, girls used to joke that it wasn't the walk of shame, it was the "stride of pride,"and that sounds stupid even in your twenties. So to hear a grown woman call it a victory lap was well-

That's when I went from being entertained by the many escapades of Ms. Morgan to feeling really sad for her. Sonja is 50. She looks amazing but she is 50 damn years old. She has a teenaged (I believe) daughter. Yes, I know that she's been through an ugly divorce and clearly has wounds that she has yet to recover from, but this behavior is not appropriate. Before you berate me, I don't think that the same behavior from a man at that age is appropriate either. There are plenty of men that I know that are younger than 50 who behave like this and I find them pathetic too.

Whether her life really is all about sex or this is her reality show persona that she amplifies to pay the bills, when you're 50 you should have a little more class- or a least a little more discretion. In my opinion, sex is like money. When you have a lot of it, you don't need to talk about it.

To tie this in with real life I was recently talking with my best friend who told me that the guy she was dating was moving way too fast for her and she wouldn't be ready for the things he wanted for three to five years. She confessed that she was scared for her life to change. To which I gave her the above Sonja anecdote. YOUR LIFE IS SUPPOSED TO CHANGE! Because acting like your 22 when your 50 is sad. You're supposed to let go of some things and gain other things. But perpetually acting like a drunk sorority girl is no path to fulfillment.

So in short, thank you Sonja. You've actually taught me something and even assisted in my maturation.

What do you guys think? Am I being judgmental or should people be advertising their "victory laps" even when they're adults or parents?


  1. I think her behavior is SO pathetic. It's so "LOOK AT ME, LOOK AT ME." It's really sad to watch. And I feel especially sad that she has a daughter who she's supposed to be guiding into adulthood.

    All that said, I love all the Housewives. :)

  2. I really worry about Sonja. I feel like the producers of the show really enable her and it must be mortifying for her daughter. Like, what was up with that cabaret performance earlier in the season? At least Aviva's on the show so Sonja will never be the craziest.