Thursday, June 26, 2014

the career woman & the BLOW OFF

Lately, it seems I'm getting all my post ideas from episodes of bad reality TV shows.  But that just means I don't have to feel the slightest bit guilty for tuning in, because it's all research.  In fact, after I finish writing this I'm going to set my DVR to record Little Women on Lifetime.  Anyway, this topic comes from early episodes of this season of Real Housewives of New York.  If you've been watching the show then you know all about #bookgate.  Allow me to explain for those of you with high brow TV viewing habits.

In one corner, we have Carole Radziwill: a journalist and published author.  She's best known for the memoir she wrote after her husband (a Prince!) died of cancer.  She's tight with the Kennedys and everyone was pretty much shocked that she even agreed to do RHONY.  She is NOT actually a housewife.

In another corner, we have Aviva Drescher: a stay-at-home mom who lost her leg in a tragic accident when she was just a child.  Aviva's known on the show for her many phobias.  She just released a book/memoir called Leggy Blonde.

Aviva started a rumor that Carole hired a ghostwriter to write her latest novel,  The Widow's Guide to Sex and Dating.  And then all hell broke loose.  Anyway, Aviva's bat-shit crazy and her book (which she 100% used a ghostwriter on) only has 2 1/2 stars on Amazon.  Accusing Carole of using a ghostwriter is extra bitchy, because we all know Carole's only on the show to promote her book anyway.  

But here's where I'm going to relate this whole event to a more universal topic.  Most of the ladies on the show (rightfully) took Carole's side in #bookgate, because Carole's career is "ALL SHE HAS."  Even Carole said, "MY CAREER IS ALL I HAVE."  Carole never remarried and she doesn't have kids.  So... again, with feeling this time-- her career is ALL SHE HAS.

This kind of broke my heart and pissed me off all at the same time.  So, if a woman doesn't get married or have children-- but she has a successful career-- she's still going to be looked at as a tragic figure?  Not to turn this into a feminist rant, but no one would ever say this about a man.  NO ONE.  I'm sorry, but it takes way more work and talent and chutzpah to have Carole's career than to have a husband and a child (don't get me wrong it takes a shitload of work to raise a child, but not to have one). Anyone can have a spouse and a kid.  Just look at Teen Mom on MTV (a show I proudly do not watch).  Being a successful journalist or a surgeon or a lawyer or a CEO is fucking awesome and shouldn't be diminished just because you didn't end up married with kids along the way. 

I'm not saying that a successful career should be applauded more than being a successful wife/mother-- I'm saying a woman shouldn't be pitied because she ended up with the career and not any of the other stuff.  Before you respond in the comments section by telling  me that "a career doesn't keep you warm at night"-- I'd say it does when you can afford to pay for heat, high thread-count sheets, and a goose-down comforter.  None of which can ever be pulled off of you in the middle of the night by a man sleeping next to you.


  1. I used to always think I would forever fall under this category, "my career is all I have", and not to mention ALL I have time for. I was always a firm believer in the fact that women couldn't, successfully, have both. Well... I met a guy (the way the story always starts) and honestly I can say that I was missing aspects of having someone in your life that cares about you. I used to go weeks without touching another human or god forbid a hug. Now, I can't imagine how lonely that would feel. My point is, you don't know what you don't know. And if you haven't had a hug in weeks... You should try it.

  2. I do agree-- Ideally, we all want both-- but I wish women with big careers would be celebrated more VS everyone thinking that they sacrificed having other things for their job. I also find it really interesting that we females have a tendency to think we're either destined to have an amazing career or to be lucky in love. When was the last time a guy said "I think I'll just always be one of those guys that does well in my job and not in my love life" They never say shit like that, LOL.