Monday, July 28, 2014

Happily Never After & the BLOW OFF

Editor's Note: Love this guest post from our loyal reader Vivienne.  I think many of us can relate... if you are still picking up the pieces long after the break-up, then this is a must read for you.

Being a girl and growing up on Disney, you get pretty attached to that story of a girl who meets her Prince Charming. They find each other, and both fall head over heels and then ride into the sunset to a perfect fairytale ending. Well, reality is NOT like that and is anything but. To any sane person, I’m probably just stating the obvious, that the story is exactly what it is – simply a fairytale. So then who the hell said that fairytales/dreams do come true? And Katy Perry’s song: “if it’s not like the movies, then that’s how it should be”… pretty sure she was singing about Russell Brand on that track, and we all know how that ended up (spoil alert: DIVORCE).

But putting aside the unrealistic fairytale (because as if we’re all damsels in distress who find our happy ending with a handsome prince in under 2 hours). Who out there has ever met a guy with who they fell in love with, and soon he became the only person you wanted to be with, the love of your life, your only exception, the one who you felt would last… and then it didn’t?

Well, that’s exactly what happened to me. I was 18 and he was the ex of someone I know (and didn’t particularly like). At the time, I kind of knew that the odds were totally against us – we were still young, totally inexperienced (both still hadn’t lost our cherries) and he was the first guy I ever liked. Now, wouldn’t it be nice if the ending had been “we fell in love and are still together after 5 years and just got engaged”. Well unfortunately, that’s not at all what happened (wishful thinking I know). But I wasn’t the first girl he ever liked, and due to a case of the bitchy ex and what an idiot he could be when drunk, this ended up being a pretty bad relationship.

Looking back, I don’t really know why it went this way. Was it my fault? Was it his? (I think so since he hooked up with her several times, during our “off” relationship period and then lied to me about it). But even though alls done and dusted, I can’t help but feel a little melancholy at this prospect of a failed relationship – a relationship mind you, that I had wanted so badly to work out. A friend once told me that “to get over someone, you have to get under someone else”. Probably true, but the sad thing is, I haven’t met anyone since that first guy – and it’s been 5 years... I know right? COME ON!

I think it’s pretty special and hard to meet someone you can really connect with, and I don’t mean just sex, but someone you really get along with. Well at least for me, I’m finding that’s the case. Envy to the girl who seems to never be single. But I know that this relationship is now totally over, and even though he was a total jerk, I’m sad that it’s ended this way. The hardest part is not just after a break-up, it’s also that space in between breaking up and finding a new relationship - where you feel lost with no sense of direction about what do to next other than “move on”. Totally not looking forward to the day that I find out he’s got a new girlfriend. Must get with Jamie Dornan before that and all will be okay (seriously, have you seen him in the Fifty Shades Trailer? DAMN!)

I’m sure in time, I’ll forget about him, but for now, it’s hard to not think about him from time to time. And this feeling of emptiness and bleakness will go away (soon hopefully :). But to all the women who have gotten their heart broken, I feel your pain. And now here’s my question– can you truly move on and completely forget about someone you once were totally in love with? What happens to “the one that got away”? I’d love to hear about similar experiences and what you’ve found helps you get over a relationship that ended in a Happily Never After.

No comments:

Post a Comment