Tuesday, September 23, 2014

absence makes the heart grow fonder?

Editor's Note: We received this story from one of our loyal readers in Miami, FL.  What struck me about it is that it's one of the first BLOW OFF stories we've received about a relationship that existed purely via text and phone calls. And our reader even admits to committing one of the most serious relationship crimes out there.  But here's my questions to you guys-- can you really blame her?  Comment below after you read!  

I once went blindly into a rebound relationship. I vaguely remember my ex-best friend introducing me, through text, to a boy named Robert. At the time, I was only fifteen years old, but like any teenager I was sure that my dating intellect was top-notch. In one night, a then 18 year old boy became the object of my affection. And all of this was happening through text. In hindsight, it's obvious that the reason our relationship flourished is because he gave me what my previous relationship didn't: constant communication.

See, the thing about relationships that happen online or over text is that they often lead to two people trying desperately to bridge a gap by staying in touch. After about a month, I still hadn't met Robert in person. This wasn't a part of the original plan. But for some reason, maybe it was the half hour drive, this 18 year old boy with a truck and a tank of gas, never seized the opportunity to meet-- and do things I desperately wanted to do. 

To this day, I have no idea why we still continued talking, but even after I moved further away, we continued our long distance relationship. Fast-forward a couple months and by this time I'm getting to know other boys that I saw everyday at school. Guys who wanted my attention-- not just over text message. Call me sleazy, but I was beginning to pine over the idea of hugging and holding hands with someone. Robert and I began fighting often, and one day, I blurted that it didn't matter to me whether our relationship worked out. If it was going to continue this way, not seeing each other at all, ever, I would seek out comfort elsewhere --- like I had in the past. I confessed, without sugar coating it, that I had slept with someone on what turned out to be the day he first told me he loved me (over text).

Had I known what he felt for me back then, which maybe I did, I wouldn't have done what I did.  I was lonely and young. Long story short, our relationship fizzled out shortly after and I was broken-hearted.  He moved on quickly, but I was left feeling completely devastated. I spent weeks contacting him, begging him to answer my phone calls, and texts. I must have sounded insane. After doing long distance with Robert for more than eight months though, I felt entitled to the desperation.

Oddly enough, I'm twenty years old now, and Robert and I have kept in touch and updated each other with personal growths and tragedies. I don't think we'll ever get another chance with one another. I do know, however, that the relationship we shared was something no one could understand. Do I blame anyone but myself that it ended? Of course not. I take full responsibility for the fact that I chose to be weak and look for someone else's attention when I should have stayed loyal to the man who focused all of his communications on me.

Still, I think it worked out for the best. I don't completely blame myself. Fate should be held accountable, too.

1 comment:

  1. I have to say, I kind of don't blame you for hooking up with someone else. The only way an LDR can truly work is if the two people make an effort to see each other in person.