Friday, October 24, 2014

kentucky fried BLOW OFF

Just when I thought the best break-up story of the week was going to be the chick who got stuck in a chimney, I learned about Tan Chen all the way in China's Sichuan Province. She's kind of my new hero. After recently getting dumped by her boyfriend, Chen decided she needed some comfort food and stayed at a 24-hour KFC for ONE WEEK. Like she moved in there and called in sick to work and ate as many biscuits and wings as it took to mend her fragile heart.

Guys, this is NOT a story from The Onion. This really happened. Chen was quoted as saying: "I hadn't planned on staying there long, I just wanted some chicken wings. But once I got in there and started eating I decided I needed time to think. I didn't want to go back to my apartment because it was full of memories of him. So I stayed."

Can you really blame her? I'd rather enjoy the comforts of a fast food restaurant than go back to an apartment filled with break-up landmines too. When one of the employees noticed they'd been serving her for three days and that she'd never actually left, he decided to check on her: "When we asked her if she was okay, she said she was and just needed time to think. And then asked for another box of chicken wings with extra large fries."

I love Tan Chen. She knows the only time it's really acceptable to eat fast food is when you're going through an emotional trauma. The article goes on to say that after a week, she got sick of the taste of chicken, quit her job, and took a train to her parent's house. 

Anyway, I think Tan's really onto something. Forget therapy. Forget alcohol. Forget confiding in friends and family. All we really need to survive a break up is a week of sick leave and the closest local 24-hour fast food spot. If it were me, I probably would have found a KFC-Pizza Hut-Taco Bell combo, cause we all know variety is the spice of life.

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