Monday, October 20, 2014

Top Ten: First Date Rules

The first date can make or break a future relationship. Think about it. You could be out with your future wife or husband. The person you're supposed to spend the rest of your life with. The person you're going to raise three perfect children with... BUT one tiny misstep and everything could come crashing down.  So, here are a few tips to ensure that you have the best possible first date ever.

10. Meet halfway. Especially if you live in Los Angeles. If you live on the east side and she lives on the west side, don't suggest a dinner spot in Eagle Rock. There are plenty of lovely date spots in Hollywood, people. If you really want to impress the person you've asked out, be willing to drive out to their neck of the woods.

9. If you're the one asking, then you should be the one planning the date. It's okay to ask the person you're taking out if they have any food restrictions, but aside from that, it's important to show that you know how to plan a date. I was hanging out with a GF before she was supposed to meet a Tinder date and after endless back and forth texts from the boy on where they should eat, she almost ditched the date all together.

8. Speaking of food restrictions: leave your picky eating habits at the door. The quickest way to sour a first date is to give the person a preview of a lifetime of annoying meals they're going to be eating with you. I'm not saying you have to hide the fact that you're gluten-free forever, but maybe try not to lead with all of your dietary issues right out of the gate. If you're the one planning the date, then pick a spot you would eat almost everything off the menu. Side story: one of my GF's went on a first date with a guy who was on some special diet and he brought a SCALE to the restaurant to measure his portions. Needless to say, she did not go out with him again.

7. If you ask, then you pay. Even if you have a vagina. I get that dating can get really expensive for guys, because there's always an expectation that they're paying, but they can always suggest coffee or drinks and save dinner for date #2. And ladies, it's always nice to offer to chip in-- but dudes, don't take them up on it.

6. Put your fucking phone away. There's nothing ruder than being out with someone and having them answer calls or respond to text messages while they're supposed to be focused on you. This applies to any date. If you're that desperate to check your phone, then politely excuse yourself and check it in the bathroom.

5. Don't bring up exes. Not just ex-boyfriends, but ex-cities too.  When I first moved to LA from NY, I used to have this problem where all I talked about on dates was how cool NY was and how much I missed it. This is pretty much the fastest way to lose the interest of an Angeleno.

4. Don't see a movie. I had a first date with a guy once that literally all we did was see the movie Kissing Jessica Stein together and then he took me home. I ended up going out with him again-- mainly because I didn't know anything about him after sitting in a movie theater together for two hours wondering if I should just become a lesbian. 

3. It's a first date. Don't lay it on too thick. Believe it or not, being wined and dined can scare a woman off. Pick a restaurant that's middle of the road or a fun dive bar. If you're date is snooty about it, then you probably don't want to go out with them anyway. This goes for the females too, if your date asks for dining suggestions, then don't pick some place pricey just because you want to get a free meal out of it.

2. Don't lead with how badly you want to be in a serious relationship or the status of your biological clock. These are all valid things to be concerned about in life... BUT maybe you can wait until date three or four to bring it up? PLUS, if you just go ahead and date multiple people, you'll never have to worry that a dude might be wasting your time or taking you away from someone better.

1. Ask questions! One of the biggest first date deal breakers is going out with someone who talks about themselves. It's so simple, people. Here's how it works. Your date: "do you have any brothers or sisters?" You: "Yes, I have an older brother. DO YOU HAVE ANY SIBLINGS?" See how easy that was?.The all caps are for emphasis, I'm not telling you to yell at your date.

Okay, guys. Any other tips I'm forgetting? Anything you vehemently disagree with? Comment below!


  1. Very thorough list. I would like to add:
    Don't go out of your way to talk politics, religion, health issues, or how much money you make; it can make an otherwise pleasant date uncomfortable. True story: a few months ago, I was on a first date with a guy who told me "I feel kind of guilty making a six-figure salary since it's the owner's personal venture." Not sure if he's trying to attract gold diggers, but bragging is a huge turn off for me (and a humble brag might even be worse). (There was no second date.)

  2. Also, go easy on the alcohol. I am all about meeting for drinks since it gives you an easy out if things are going poorly, but can evolve naturally into dinner if things are going great. Sadly, I've been that girl who tried to jump back in the saddle of dating a little too soon after a bad breakup, and ended up repeatedly telling my date how cute it was that he was in a musical moments before knocking my beer all over the bar from talking too wildly with my hands. Needless to say, we never spoke again.

  3. Great tips, though now it is not my first date but these tips would be surely helpful for next time i go on a date.