Monday, October 27, 2014

Why Dating is the Ultimate Job Search...

I was having brunch yesterday with one of my besties who's currently on the market. She was telling me that she feels like she's focusing too much on wanting to find a boyfriend when she should just be enjoying the single life and loving her alone time. She was almost embarrassed about the fact that she was semi-obsessing over meeting the right guy. I remember feeling the same way when I was single. for whatever reason, it's not cool to admit that you want to be in a relationship. I even resisted online dating because of it. To me, searching for a bf over the internet was just a public admission that I needed someone.

But now I think: who the fuck cares? What's so wrong with wanting to be with someone? Why do we put so much pressure on each other to embrace being single? Would we ever think our friends were crazy or pathetic for aggressively going after a career they wanted? Hell no. We'd think they were ambitious and driven and badass. And at the end of the day, the person you choose to spend the rest of your life with is a way more important decision than what you choose to do for a living.

So...that got me thinking. What if more people treated dating like the ultimate job search? Stay with me. I don't want to hear that it doesn't sound very romantic. Newsflash: DATING IS NOT ROMANTIC anyway. I also don't want to hear that relationships are supposed to happen naturally. Would you ever apply the same logic to your career? Consider this conversation:

Me: I really want to get hired at a fortune 500 company.
You: That's super cool Saaara. Have you been letting people know that's what you're interested in?
Me: Nope.
You: Well, have you been sending out resumes and going on interviews?
Me: No. I just want it to happen organically.
You: What the fuck are you talking about?
Me: I'm kind of hoping it'll just fall into my lap.
You: You're going to be homeless and unemployed.

See what I did there? So, if you're single and really, truly, want someone in your life-- then what if for the next, say, three months, you go after a bf or gf the same way you'd go after your dream job? There's no shame in your game. And if in three months you still haven't met anyone worth pursuing, then consider the silver lining: you'll have a bunch of funny stories you can contribute to the BLOW OFF! Guys, this also comes with a money back guarantee.... cause you didn't even to have pay for this advice in the first place. You're. Welcome.


  1. I get what you're saying here but I think that the word organically is discarded a little quickly. Well in my case I always say I want to meet someone like that because I know right away if there's some kind of chemistry. When you meet someone you are being set up with or online there's that stage of awkwardness or like this barrier and it's tough to tell and for me that's no bueno. Also it's one thing to put yourself out there more and go to more parties or even be a little big aggressive but I've found that anytime I've ever tried to manipulate any situation whether it be work or personal it never works out and that if I have put the background work in and I sit back and shut the fuck up things tend to work much better. That's just me.

  2. That totally makes sense. and it's not to say that it's impossible to organically meet someone. But I will say, even if the chemistry is there when you meet-- you still have to go through the dating process of "yes there's chemistry, but are we compatible?" and that can be awkward too. The one thing I do find telling or interesting is when you refer to it as manipulating a situation. I don't see it that way at all, I just see it as "i want someone in my life and I'm going to do something about it." To me, it's more about being proactive (which I think we would never fault someone for doing in their career).