Wednesday, November 12, 2014

Dating Time Machine: Can we go back to the 1950s??

I got married in 2011 and started dating my husband (the h-bomb) in 2005. Back then, I still had one of those phones where you had to hit the button three times to get to the letter you wanted. We dated long distance and texting was barely a thing, which meant long phone calls and emails. I've been out of the dating game for almost ten years and I can't believe how much it's changed. Remember when people didn't like to admit that they met online? Now I just assume that's how everyone meets. Between Tinder and JDate and Christian Mingle and Black People Meet and Grouper and How About We... and Plenty of Fish, you'd think it would be easier to meet a nice guy but it seems even harder.

This makes me nostalgic. Not for 2005. But for the 1950s. Okay, I wasn't even alive then and it was a terrible time for women and African-Americans, BUT what if there was some sort of magical dating time machine that only reverted us back to the way people dated in the 50s?

Back in those days, men actually walked up to a woman and asked her out on a date in person. They didn't shoot her a Facebook message or a vague text. They'd pick her up at her house, hold the door open for her, go on a proper date, help her with her coat, pick up the tab, and maybe stop at the drive-in or Look Out Point for some heavy petting. That literally sounds like heaven to me.  I mean, back then people were SO connected, they drank one milkshake with two straws. These days, we've replaced eye contact with checking our phones.

I imagine there was never a grey area with dating. You were either going steady or you were just friends, but there had to have been less "what are we doing?" conversations taking place. Also, it was normal for people to get married young, so very rarely did you have to deal with the "I still want to sow my wild oats" dilemma. Porn wasn't nearly as prevalent, so dudes actually wanted to have sex all the time. Okay, I've seen Mad Men. I know men also had mistresses and affairs with their secretaries, but has philandering decreased over time? Nope. It's gone up. It's way easier to cheat these days because you can find someone to hook up with simply by turning on your phone.

It's kind of sad that we live in a time where a dude bringing flowers on the first date, actually seems clingy and creepy. Back then, it was the norm. Men, can't you start adding a little 1950s flair into your dating techniques. And ladies, can you be more open to it?


  1. It's like you read my mind! I think about this a lot. And agree the 50's were a terrible time in general and I'm glad to be a woman today, but yes, I would love it if dating today could please take a few cues from all those movies set in the 50's. I mean, my grandma still gets confused about how some guy I am dating/seeing/hanging out with isn't actually my boyfriend. If she only knew what we were up to! And another note for today's guys (and girls): I think it's fine to sow your wild oats if you do so safely and know what you can mentally handle or not. But I also think it's fine to be someone's boyfriend or girlfriend for a few months too. All I'm looking for is a little short term commitment and to see where it goes. Consistency and maybe even a GF/BF title doesn't mean we're have to walk down the aisle anytime soon, a nice 6 month committed situation with real dates could be quite nice. Cause lord knows a wishy-washy text and hookup based 6 month situation is losing it's luster.

  2. Well the women back then were old fashioned and certainly much nicer to meet which today they're Not.