Wednesday, November 26, 2014

the turkey drop & the BLOW OFF

All across the country, while most of us are giving thanks and eating pumpkin pie, college students are breaking hearts. This isn't just Thanksgiving weekend, it's also the turkey drop. If you've never heard of the term, it refers to the time kids come home from college for the first time and break-up with their long distance high school sweethearts. Now, I'm not sure how many college students actually read this blog, but if you or someone you know has been effected by the turkey drop, send them this blog post. But not the one from three years ago, because I was much less sympathetic then.

I'm here to tell you that while it might not feel like it right now: the turkey drop is the best thing that ever happened to you.

You DON'T and I repeat DON'T want a serious boyfriend or girlfriend in college. I don't care if that's where your parents met, we're of a different generation. The type that gets married later and later in life. College is the ultimate time for meaningless hook-ups. It's the time for experimenting (your lesbian phase is right around the corner!). It's the time for sleeping with guys who roll perfect joints and wax poetic about poetry. It's the time for threesomes and foursomes. It's the time when foreplay includes words like diegesis and ethnocentricism.

The best part is, no one cares who you were in high school. I got hardly any love in high school. In college, I was killin' it. Until I transferred to another school my junior year and then things got bleak again, but let's not focus on that right now. I started my freshman year in an LDR with my boyfriend back home. We lasted all the way until spring quarter. And he was a great boyfriend, but if I could do it all over again, I'd embark on my college experience as a free agent. I would've gotten more ass than a toilet seat.

Now, if you're the person still living at home-- you might be in community college or you've still got one more year left in high school-- things might feel a little different. You already felt left behind and now you've been dumped. Your ex gets to run off and have all these new experiences and you just have to stay in your boring hometown with all of your boring friends. I realize this sucks. BUT maybe this is just the kick in the ass you need to-- in the words of Kelly Clarkson-- breakaway. Don't be the kid that stays in your hometown forever. Go see the world. Travel. Sleep with Europeans. And then come home if you still feel like it. If that doesn't cheer you up, then here's hoping your ex gets a wicked STD very soon. If you're still in high school and travel isn't really an option, then you get to date another high school boy or girl! This means you'll be the center of someone's universe again.

And if none of that cheers you up, it could be worse this holiday season. You could be a turkey.

1 comment:

  1. I have been in great bondage for almost 2 years suffering in the hands of a cheating husband,we were happy and leaving well until he meant his old time girl friend and he started dating her outside our marriage before you knew it he stoped caring and taking care of his own family it was to the extent that he was planning to get married to her and divorce me his own wife, i have cried and reported him to his family but he never listened to any one but to cut my story short i came in search for a real spell caster who could destroy their relationship and make him come back to me and our 2 kids on my search i saw people making testimony on how their marriage where restored by Esango Priest i pick his email and i narrated my story to him and he agreed to help me and after performing a spell on the second day both had a quarrel and he beat his girlfriend up and he came home begging for i and my little kids to forgive him that his eyes are clear now that he will never do any thing that will hurt his family again and promise to be a caring father and never cheat again.I am so so happy that i did not loose him to the girl. all appreciation goes to Esango Priest for you are a Great spell caster and to whom this may concern if you have a cheating husband or wife or you need your ex lover back again. you can as well email him on ( or or you can also reach him throgh his website