Tuesday, December 16, 2014

Girls without Brothers & the BLOW OFF

There are two kinds of women: those who grew up with brothers and those who didn't. My bestie has two older brothers. The other night, we were out for drinks and we started talking about my blog. She referenced posts she's seen from women asking why a guy wants to hang out but is still non-committal, why he disappears only to resurface, why he texted or called again, etc. She had a theory about these posts-- most of these women probably didn't grow up with older brothers. I have no way to confirm this as I don't know many of our readers who send in posts. But according to her, if they had grown up with brothers, they'd know the answer to all their questions-- and please keep in mind, we were three drinks in at this point:

"He wants to fucking fuck you. He wants your fucking pussy."

It's a pretty simple explanation. When I ran it by the H-bomb he said, "sounds about right." It's by no means earth-shattering, but it got me to wonder if we'd save ourselves a lot of analysis, heartache, confusion, and bewilderment if we just repeated those words to ourselves like a mantra: "he wants to fucking fuck me, he wants my fucking pussy." I know it's crass and harsh, but maybe that's the kind of tough love necessary to move on.

I've never had this no-nonsense take on dating. I did grow up with a brother, but he was eight years younger. When I was in the middle of dating bullshit in my twenties, he was sixteen, so there wasn't much light he could shed on the topic. Now that he's twenty-six, I've gotten much more of a window into the male psyche and it would have been really helpful to have the same insights ten years ago when I really needed them.

This theory isn't full-proof. The bestie is now married, but in our twenties, we did plenty of analysis together on guys that she dated as well. We can all fall victim to relationship psychological warfare. But I do agree that the ladies I know with older brothers seem to have a different perspective on men. They had a front row seat to male dating behavior and after years of being witness to it, they know exactly why he's texting or calling again. Say it with me. "He wants to fucking fuck you. He wants your fucking pussy." Maybe if we say it enough, we could finally have a dating mantra that replaces "he's just not that into you."  


  1. I 100% agree with, "He wants to fucking fuck you. He wants your fucking pussy," but the confusion becomes when they reach out and then don't follow thru to try to meet up to fucking fuck you. That's the part that's so weird. If you want my fucking pussy you would have to at least arrange a hang out or hell, text a booty call. Say hey what up and then disappear again.

    1. I think there's something to add to the "he wants to fucking fuck you" which is that he wants to do as little work possible to be able to fuck you. So, if a text isn't answered with something that indicates that the road to fucking is going to be an easy one, then that's when they don't follow through.

  2. I also will add that initially they want to fucking fuck you, however if they "just aren't that into you" in the first place then they will quickly find someone else they want to fucking fuck. That simple. And yes, I grew up with a brother.

  3. If it's via social media, there probably won't be any follow up. So protip is if you ever spend more than 2 minutes thinking about what a like in your status means, don't.

    Also, I don't think this is always true. It's hard to believe, but some guys are different.