Tuesday, December 9, 2014

#TST: find out what you want, be that girl for a month

Guys, I fully realize that my recent fixation on Taylor Swift songs (and Taylor Swift Tuesdays #TST) could make me lose credibility with you--- but I don't want you to read into it too much. I don't think Tay-Tay is super talented. She's not an amazing singer. She's makes really weird facial expressions all the time. At best, her song lyrics are like poems I used to write about guys I liked in high school... BUT they're still catchy as hell. And there's still little pearls of wisdom in them. Taylor is like that friend you go to for advice and she drops mad knowledge on you, then goes off and makes all the same mistakes in her own relationships. Which is why many of her songs are ripe for analysis on the BLOW OFF.

Now that we got that out of the way, the next lyric to inspire a post comes from the song Blank Space. Swift sings "Find out what you want, be that girl for a month."

Raise your hand if you've done this. Personally, I think we all do to a certain extent. We're all perfect fake versions of ourselves in the beginning of a relationship. Some take it to more of an extreme. See this post on Kate Hudson.

I've done this on several occasions. I've never been one to start taking on a boyfriend's political or religious beliefs, but I've definitely gravitated toward their taste in music or movies. I've pretended I thought black metal (or death metal) was really cool. I sat through The Big Lebowski and acted like it was the best, most hilarious movie ever made (Sorry, aside from No Country for Old Men, I'm not really into the Coen Brothers.)  I even invented an email address with a Bob Dylan song title to get a guy to notice me. With the H-bomb, I just acted like a way more sane and laid-back version of myself for the first six months.

I've had friends change their entire lives for dudes (or for love depending on how you look at it). They moved to foreign countries they never had any interested living in. Or started wearing a lot of hemp for their granola boyfriend. Or got into really weird things like hiking and nature and baseball. I have to wonder if men have a tendency to do this too or if it's more of a female thing. Are women more likely to think a guy won't be interested in them if they don't like everything they like? I'm not sure. I do know two guys who changed their eating habits for the women they were dating. One had been a vegetarian for years and started eating meat. One had been a meat-eater his whole life and became a vegetarian. So, I guess it goes both ways.

The thing is-- when you're in a long term forever kind of relationship-- your likes and dislikes evolve and change over the years. When I got married three years ago, there were no signs or clues that my husband would turn into a lumbersexual. See below:
Hiking and the great outdoors has become one of his life's greatest passions. I prefer glamping. But even though it's not a hobby we share or have in common, I support it. Plus, he looks really hot in all that gear. 

So, I kind of agree with Taylor here. If you're going to find out the kind of girl the guy you're into wants, then don't bother being her for more than a month. On second thought, don't bother being her at all. 


  1. I dated the MALE version of this in high school! When he was dating me, he was super into hip hop and drove a black Jetta. After we broke up and he started dating my hippie friend (a shady move on multiple levels), he began listening to Bob Marley and took up hacky sacking. He even went so far as to trade in his Jetta for a VW bus. No joke.

  2. Saaara, have you seen The Hudsucker Proxy? I feel the same as you do abt the Co Bros but like that one.