Monday, February 9, 2015

F**K Romance: An engagement story

Editor's Note: My besties little brother is getting married (which is nuts, because he's eternally six years old in my brain) and she sent me this story from their wedding website. It's so great, I had to post it. And yes, I got permission. I'm not some internet creeper, guys. Enjoy!

So, I decided to propose to Olivia.

It was Valentine's day and I hadn't gotten her anything and I panicked and proposed, because I couldn't think of anything else to get her at the last minute. That's a joke.

I had decided a few weeks before to finally propose after five and a half years of dating and five years of co-habitating. I decided that it was something I really wanted to do and got more and more excited about the prospect during the lead up.

The night before, I came home late from a wrap party and Olivia was already in bed. I had just told Olivia's best friend Caroline as we split a cab that I was going to propose tomorrow and went I got home, I was having the feels so bad I woke Olivia up because I was giggling with joy and anticipation.

It was Valentine's Day, that much is true. I had just finished eight grueling days freelancing and normally would be in bed. But whatever. Instead I dragged my ass down to Chinatown and got a ring.
When Olivia got home from work I had dinner made for us. A Moroccan Chili that I think came out quite well.*

She came home and:
Michael: "Does it bother you that we're not doing anything particularly romantic for Valentine's Day?"
Olivia: "I hate romance."
Michael: "Are you sure?"
Olivia: "Yes. Fuck Romance."
Michael: "Can we shake on it?"

Like two gentlemen of business, we casually shook hands as if agreeing on some minor shipping arrangement. Then, like a master thief, I reached into my pocket and put the ring in my palm.

Michael: "Are you really sure? Can we shake on it again?"

A bit confused, Olivia shook my hand again. She thought I was handing her a quarter, but it wasn't a quarter, it was a ring.**
..So then i asked her if she wanted to get married and she said yes. End of story.

*There was some controversy surrounding the chili a few days later when we were having the leftovers with some friends regarding the raisins that were called for in the recipe. Well I happen to like raisins so up yours, Debevec and Usinowicz. Anyway.

**A few minutes later I did offer Olivia a quarter, she declined.

Another Editor's Note: You can donate to Michael and Olivia's marriage here. I'm kind of joking, but wouldn't it be great if BLOW OFF readers bought them everything on their registry? It's good dating karma!


  1. We had our youngest daughter's vow renewal at this place. Everything was spot-on perfect, the venue, the food, the view, the service and fortunately even the weather. Cannot recommend the manager and his staff more!!!