Thursday, March 12, 2015

How The Bachelor Helped Me with Love

Don't worry, I'm not going to ramble on and on about how love is a journey, every rose has its thorn and it's totally normal to get engaged to someone after only a few weeks. However, in the midst of heartbreak I may or may not have played Desiree's rejection by Brooks repeatedly. It just shows that anyone can be the victim of unrequited love, but you can come out on top and marry a better man. I didn't think it would last, but Des and Chris actually seem perfect for each other.

Yes, having spent countless hours watching every single season of The Bachelor/Bachelorette, I'd like to think I've learned something. Kind of like all my past relationships. I mean, if you can't find some lessons than you've simply wasted your time. And my time is precious. So here goes:

1) First impressions are NOT everything
How often does the person who receives the first impression rose win? Almost never. First impression roses are like the honeymoon period when everything is well...roses. We often hang on to those first magical moments for far too long. It's a time of hope, when anything and everything seems possible. We cling to that initial certainty ignoring all the red flags that pop up afterwards. Similarly, the recipient of this first impression rose usually leaves in tears wondering what went wrong and screaming "but I got the first rose!" Hello Britt.

2) Anyone BUT I mean, ANYONE can get rejected.
When Brad Womack chose no one the first time around, the world was shocked. Not because he didn't propose, but because he had two great girls and wouldn't give either one a chance. Both were actually beautiful, sweet, classy girls, but Brad was completely convinced that he would not and could not love them. I think guys know fairly quickly if you are someone who they could spend their life with. If you're not, no amount of time spent, amazing sex, fantasy suites or helicopter rides will change that. I will say that watching so many gorgeous people crying in limos and later coming out on the other side and moving on to bigger, better and REAL relationships is hopeful.

3) Breakups can be the best thing to ever happen to you
When Jason Mesnick dumped Melissa Rycroft fo Molly on national TV, it seemed like life couldn't get any lower. But then she joined Dancing with Stars, married a much hotter man, had a cute little baby and has no idea what she ever saw in Jason. Deanna and Jenni are both married (while Brad is still single last time I checked). Lacy left on Juan Pablo's season the first night, which I thought was a fate worse than death, but on Bachelor in Paradise every guy wanted her. Now she's engaged and happy and everyone hates Juan Pablo.

4) You can be engaged within weeks. About a year ago, a friend and I were crying and drinking over recent heartbreaks. The difference between us is that she picked herself up, dusted herself off and just announced her engagement to a really great guy. I spent another year torturing myself. The main point is, it can happen really quickly. One day you can be single and the next day you can meet your soulmate. I'm not really advocating meeting someone on television and getting engaged to them soon after, but as shown by the few couples who have lasted...sometimes when ya know ya just know. Trista and Ryan forever.

What have you learned from the Bachelor? And for more lessons from our favorite reality TV franchise, check out this post.

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