Tuesday, May 19, 2015

F**king Our Brains Out

The expression, "fucking your brains"out is supposed to imply that a sexual experience was mind blowing. That may be true but having your brains fucked out of you can come with a lot of unanticipated consequences. When women get their brains "fucked out" it can be literal. We can become someone else. All it takes is one intimate, sexual experience for us to go from capable, rational adults to bumbling fools/stalkers.
Remember Cameron Diaz's character, Julie, in Vanilla Sky? Tom Cruise thinks  they are just fuck buddies and is cool banging her, while he's out looking for other chicks but as Julie states, "When you sleep with someone your body makes a promise even if you don't." Her other gems? "You fucked me four times the other night. I've swallowed your cum. That means something."

Um, this is fucking true! While in the following 30 seconds of the film (Spoiler Alert) Julie proceeds to intentionally drive the car that she and the Tom Cruise character are in off the road causing an awful accident, I can't help but rerun the entire scene up to this point through my mind all of the time when dealing with my own relationships. I'm sure that some of you will make the case that if I'm not in a monogamous relationship with someone I'm sleeping with this is what I should expect, but it isn't. I should be allowed to have feelings about people that I'm dating and sleeping with and not be considered crazy for having them. Why should I have to be a robot, while I date and pretend like I don't care about anyone or anything?

Yeah, I know that when you have sex with someone oxytocin is released and it creates a bond and blah, blah, blah, but what is it about sex that can literally take away the ability for us to think clearly or for us to think about anyone or anything else? This is why the whole Friends With Benefits or Fuckbuddy concept usually doesn't work out.

What the hell is wrong with having feelings for someone? Oh my god, she cares- I better drop her before she gets more attached. Why do we as a society deem women crazy after they sleep with a guy and have feelings? I'm not talking doing a Google search for Fall 2015 Vera Wang Bridal collection here, just actually giving a shit about the person. There is no way to be physically closer to a person than having sex. Think about it, they are literally inside of you. And somehow, after it's over you're just supposed to pretend like this person is someone you run into at Starbucks occasionally? Fuck that.

Yes, there are definitely levels of taking this way too far and most of us probably have at some point. But if we are sleeping with someone we're dating, but aren't necessarily in a relationship with-- why are we "supposed" to pretend like we don't have feelings about it. Is it for the guy? Is it so we don't seem "crazy"? When did crazy become synonymous with giving a fuck? Just because we may feel like Cameron Diaz did doesn't mean we're going to drive you off a cliff.


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