Thursday, May 28, 2015
the MALE-dar phenomenon strikes again!
Posted by Andrea
I meet Nate in January and we go on two really great dates. I was hoping a third date was in the cards, but the lack of initiation on his part leads me to believe he met someone else or lost interest (or was too passive for me—I’m all about letting the guy do the initiating in the early stages of dating). I figure he’s blowing me off, leaving me a little bummed. But that’s the whole point of going on dates and I’ve done my fair share of blow offs, too.
More than five weeks later, I go on a date with a new guy (half-priced wine bottles!) and listen intently to what must be his entire life story. I quietly savor my glass of tempranillo and politely nod when appropriate during the conversation. If I was comparing him to Nate—which I wasn’t at the time—New Guy was undoubtedly not as good a date. Upon waking up March 4, I find the following email in my inbox:
Sent: 3/3/2015 1:08:57 PM
Subject: Re: Great meeting you
Hey Andrea! How’s things? Ready to explore a new venue this weekend? We are on a roll with finding some good spots to eat :)
I had to read it a few times until the utter confusion set in. Did Nate somehow have a Rip Van Winkle-type experience and fell asleep for a month without realizing it? Did he send it a month prior and it went down the wrong fiber-optic cable? Did the other girl he was pursuing blow him off, and he thought “Well, I guess Andrea was okay?” Or, finally, was it that he could somehow sense that I was completely okay with him blowing me off and on a date with New Guy? We make plans for Saturday night (because one free pass does not make you a push over) and it is, again, a great date. (In addition to sharing things about himself, Nate actually asks me questions on our dates! Novel.)
Four days later, I receive a text from Ryan. Ryan and I were wedding party partners in our mutual friends’ wedding in November 2013. The bride knew we’d hit it off but, living five hours apart, it’s not like anything would ever transpire. The last time we spoke was 11 months prior. 11 months.
Nate and I start communicating and seeing each other more consistently throughout March and April. In mid-April I receive the following text from Sandy, a guy I’d [platonically] bonded with over concurrent break ups: "Hey."
It had been 9 months since we last communicated. What prompted Sandy to reach out to me, we will never know.
One may come to the conclusion that I’m being contacted by guys all the time. But no. That is absolutely not the case. I’m waiting for my two ex-boyfriends and the guy I was seeing last summer to come out of the woodwork, just so I can have some closure.
Has anyone else experienced this strange phenomenon?