Monday, June 22, 2015

Married At First Sight & the BLOW OFF

Married at first sight, you say? On national television, you ask? I myself was shocked by this notion. Reality TV has gone too far!

"Dating Naked," I totally get. The thought of having sex with a random stranger is far less terrifying to me than the thought of spending two hours at a restaurant making awkward small talk. So marrying someone you've never met is just like whoa.

It was a lazy Sunday. I had no new Lifetime movies on the DVR and was all Netflixed out. With limited options and no desire to leave my bed, I decided to give in to this guilty pleasure. Before long, I was addicted. I became totally invested in these three couples. They actually seemed like genuine people who were not on this show to become famous, promote their business or become contestants on "Dancing with the Stars." Call me a naive Nellie, but I believed these people were truly there to find everlasting love.

Now before you color me brainwashed, arranged marriages used to be the thing. And these three couples were carefully screened and selected for each other by a panel of certified experts. Furthermore, 2 out of 3 couples from the first season are still happily married. That is a pretty good ratio considering there have been like 5 successful couples in 10,000 seasons of "The Bachelor."

Having been through the trenches, it's rough out there. Sometimes I've legit thought "I wish someone could just pick out a good man for me because my picker is clearly broken." In fact, I've let my happily married sister go on my tinder and swipe for me. Suddenly I was all like "I want to be married at first sight!" But I digress.
The first couple is Shaun and Davina. They both suffer from what i called "ugly duckling turned swan syndrome." Both were bullied and although they both grew into attractive humans, their insecurities remain. I've always wanted to find a guy who suffered from UDTSS. Like he's super hot, but he wasn't always and still sees visions of the nerd he used to be. So he's sweet and adores me and has no idea how hot he is. That is not really relevant however. It started very promising. They were instantly attracted and seemed to emotionally connect as well. Things went downhill quickly. She was a city girl, he was a suburb guy. She was a strong woman who could make a grown man cry. He was a grown man who cried easily. Compromise was not in their vocabulary.
Next up was Jessica and Ryan D. Physically they were the most compatible. You would totally look at them and be like mmm hmm, I get it. They were hot and heavy pretty quickly. But he had a temper. And she was afraid to speak her mind. They walked a very fine line between having hot hate sex or actually killing each other.
Finally Ryan and Jaclyn. She's sexy and spunky, he's awkward and sweet. It was not love at first sight. She took one look at him and was like um no. But she did. I imagine it's hard to back out once you've come so far. And then something amazing happened. She realized he was actually kind, funny and genuine. Kind, funny and genuine guys are hard to come by and her attraction grew. Of course, once she fell in love he checked out. I think (based on personal experience) some guys just can't handle women who are too strong, hot and awesome for them.

At final decision time, it was obvious to all that Shaun and Davina would get divorced. Ryan and Jessica shocked the world by deciding they wished to have more hate sex. And America's sweethearts Ryan and Jaclyn, the underdogs who stole my heart, decided to stay married!!!

For one week there was hope. There was love. And then a mere 7 days later came the reunion special. Dreams were crushed and love was lost. None of the couples were able to make it work. Shaun and Davina's wedding photo actually fell off the wall and onto the ground TWICE during their segment. If that's not a sign from the universe, I don't know what is.

So what did I learn from these couples? Shockingly a lot.

Shaun and Davina taught me that you have to make sacrifices when it comes to love. It brings me back to a song I learned in the fifth grade entitled "Compromise Ties." It went a little something like this: If you give a little and they give a little then right before your eyes, look at what you've got, and you've learned a lot. Compromise Ties!"You need to venture out of your comfort zone, take some risks and go all in.

Jessica and Ryan taught me how important communication is. A girl has got to speak her mind. Jessica also taught me about MAC's opulash mascara which i need to try ASAP cause girl rocks those lashes.

Ryan and Jaclyn taught me that sometimes love can grow. First impressions aren't everything and it's good to give people a chance. If you truly like who a person is, attraction can happen.

Honestly, I will be rooting for Ryan and Jaclyn until the day I die. Or at least the next few days until I binge watch some new reality show. So would I get married at first sight? I'm not sure. I'd never say never. However, I can say with absolute certainty that I will be watching season 3.


  1. Hahaha omg I literally had the same experience with this show!! I stayed in one Friday night and indulged in one epidode which turned into pretty much the entire season. I also felt these people seemed normal and i genuinely felt sad for them because they all seemed to want to find love so badly. And i also strongly found myself being like "I want to be married at first sight!" But I quickly snapped out of that one. Anyway I did like the show and I'm also anxiously awaiting Season 3.

    1. *strongly found myself...

    2. Wow so im an idiot... S T R A N G E L Y

  2. Haha Sarah glad to know I'm not alone in that one. The aftermath was kinda crazy though...restraining orders, Sean being a gambler, Ryan not feeding Jaclyn's cat...Maybe I don't actually want to be married at first sight.