Monday, June 1, 2015

Sharing Is NOT Caring

"So the other night I was thinking about us swinging."

This is a real text message I received from a guy I was seeing. That's right. We weren't even a couple. So technically, if you don't belong to one another aren't you technically just screwing other people and not swinging? This was someone I had wanted to be in a relationship with and I wanted to text back, "HOW CAN WE SWING WHEN WE AREN'T EVEN A COUPLE?" But I didn't.

I told a friend about it and she said to RUN don't walk. Let's get one thing straight, I think everyone is entitled to whatever sexual fulfillment they want as long as it's consensual. But I immediately knew this was something I didn't want to be a part of. And then I kept thinking, if this is something this person wants and I don't want to give it to him, will it ever work out? Spoiler Alert: It didn't.

There are a lot of things that I fantasize about or watch in porn that turn me on that I would never want to do in real life with my partner. I  don't consider myself a prude, but the idea of someone wanting to share me was not something I was down with at all. I just don't think I will ever understand the concept of wanting to see the person you're with-- with someone else-- and I don't think it's a ploy for the other partner to be with someone else without it being considered cheating either.

Maybe I'm naive but I just don't think it's possible for a relationship to sustain this kind of activity. I can't imagine one party not being jealous or maybe they are coaxed into it because they want to keep their partner happy. And maybe I'm just not as sexually adventurous or open as I thought. But I'm a 90's gal and I go by the mantra of The Spice Girls and the song is "2 Become 1." Not, 2" go off and bone other people and then come back together to become 1 in the privacy of their own home."

I guess that makes me Monogamous Spice. Are you a swinger? Does it work for you? Have you ever tried swinging? Comment below!


1 comment:

  1. HELL NO. I'm so not into this. I had a friend whose boyfriend wanted her to have sex with other guys and come back and tell him all about it and I know she hated doing it, because she wanted to be with someone who couldn't stand the idea of anyone else touching her--- not someone who was turned on by it.