Thursday, June 18, 2015

stuck in your ways & the BLOW OFF

One of my girlfriend's in in her mid-thirties, is single, and recently got her own place. She wants to be in a relationship, but she's afraid the longer she's on her own, the harder it will be to fit someone into her life. She knows what she likes and doesn't think she's as adaptable as she was in her twenties.

If you're finding yourself in a similar predicament: never fear. I personally think this is a good thing. What we often define as "stuck in our ways" is actually just knowing ourselves a lot better than we did at say, twenty-five. The better you know who you are, the more likely you're able to find someone you're compatible with. Plus, a lot of people lose their sense of self in relationships or don't know how to be an individual when they're sharing their life. The more comfortable you are with yourself, the more likely you'll dodge that bullet.

I was twenty-five when I met the H-bomb. We dated long distance for a year before he moved to LA and even then, we didn't want to live in the same apartment. We each lived alone for two years in Los Angeles before moving in together (I was 28 and he was 31). And the truth is, even though we were younger and had been dating for three years, we both liked things a certain way and weren't willing to budge on some issues. We still have conversations that start with "I was raised like this..."After ten years together, we're still evolving and changing and surprising each other with our personality quirks-- in ways that aren't always compatible with each other. Maybe if we'd met now, it would be easier to navigate each other's personalities and would save us a lot of strife.

What do you guys think? For those of you that met your forever person later in life-- did it make the relationship easier or harder? And for those of you who aren't single-- if you and your spouse met now-- has your compatibility quotient changed at all through the years? Comment below! 

1 comment:

  1. Compatible couples seem to find a way to make things work.