Monday, July 13, 2015

3 Signs they’re Not Ready for a Relationship

It’s exciting: you really like the person you’ve been seeing and (1) you’ve decided you want to commit to a relationship AND (2) the other person reciprocates (in my experience, it isn’t common for these things to fall into place). But the reality is that just because they say they want to be in a relationship doesn’t mean they’re ready for one.

It may be inexperience, it may be trust issues or baggage from a previous relationship, it may be that they rushed into the commitment without fully thinking it through. Whatever it is, here are 3 signs that they’re not ready for a relationship:

#1  They aren’t making an effort to blend their life with yours. I’m not saying you should spend 24/7 together: I’m all about having interests and a life outside a relationship. But if they seem intent on maintaining a very private life, they don’t extend invitations to social gatherings that you could be a part of, and you learn about major events in their life after they happen, you have to wonder what’s going on. Relationships are about two lives coming together, not just happenchance meetings. It’s only natural to want to be involved in their life (and have them involved in yours).

#2 They aren’t making future plans. I get that some people prefer to be spontaneous and aren’t planners (guys in particular). It doesn’t have to be long-term plans or in the grand sense of marriage and family planning. But if asking them if they would want to go for a weekend getaway two months in the future is met with “I’m not sure what my schedule will be like,” they may be setting themselves up for an easy out.

#3 You still feel single. Making decisions that benefit you, making plans without your significant other, maybe even briefly thinking about other guys and then reminding yourself you have a boyfriend—if you catch yourself feeling like you’re single again then you might as well actually be single, right?

If they’ve never been in a relationship or haven’t been in one for a long time, they may not even realize they’re doing it. Rushing to judgment without having a conversation with them isn’t probably isn’t a good idea, but don’t hesitate to BLOW OFF someone who’s not ready to be your partner when there are people out there who want to involve another person in their life as much as you do.

Any signs missing? Comment below!

2 comments:

  1. I'm not agree 100% with this post! I think that you shouldn't look for the reasons why you are not ready for relationship but you must survive it! In this case I've found https://kovla.com/blog/5-vital-steps-start-dating-breakup/ . Read it and maybe you will change your view! Good luck)

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    1. Thanks for your comment! Totally agree that you should evaluate and address your own readiness to be in a relationship; this post, however, relates to the signs that the person you're WITH isn't ready.

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