Thursday, August 6, 2015

I HATE your boyfriend. Do I have to hang out with him?

We’ve all known couples who can’t do anything by themselves. There’s undoubtedly a healthy amount of independence in or out of a relationship: grabbing lunch or a drink after work doesn’t necessarily warrant an invitation to someone’s significant other (especially if you’re not their biggest fan), and it’s not like you’re expected to invite someone they’ve just started dating.

But I pose this question: once the commitment has been established, do you assume your friends and family members will bring their significant others if you’re hosting an event? Do you go so far as to include them in plans (i.e. “Are you and Alex free Saturday night?”) or do you BLOW OFF their significant others? Both sides are presented below.

Point: They like them and apparently enjoy spending time together. Why restrict them from spending time together?
Counterpoint: Getting to know new people can be really annoying. I mean, I may not even like their significant other. Why start?

Point: Why exclude someone if they want to be included?
Counterpoint: If I include all my friends’ significant others, I have to buy more food, adding to my costs. Why should I be forced into to spending money on people I don’t really know?

Point: At some point, I have to accept that they may not be single forever.
Counterpoint: I don’t think they’re ready for a serious relationship. In fact, the thought of them getting married makes me uncomfortable, so I certainly don’t want to facilitate them getting closer to that point.

Point: They could potentially end up being eternally bound by matrimony, so it may be a good idea to get to know them.
Counterpoint: There’s a risk of becoming invested in their relationship or close to someone I will have to cut ties with if it doesn’t work out. Which, if we’re being honest, statistics are on the side of it not working out.

Point: They’re a couple. It’s just a natural fact that couples attend each other’s social gatherings together when logistically possible.
Counterpoint: I prefer to spend time with just my friend, so I can totally be myself. It changes the dynamic when their significant other is around.

What have I left out? Do you BLOW OFF your friends’ and family members’ significant others? Have your significant others been BLOWN OFF? Comment below!

3 comments:

  1. I think if you're hosting an event where you're including other couples, then it's rude to tell your friend that they can't bring their significant other. As annoying as it may be for you, opening up the party to other dating couples and telling your friend no because you don't like who they're dating is a slap in the face to your friend. Of course, there are exceptions to this, like if you're having a wedding and only want to extend dates to couples who are engaged, married, or cohabiting. Just my two cents!

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  2. I think if you're hosting an event where you're including other couples, then it's rude to tell your friend that they can't bring their significant other. As annoying as it may be for you, opening up the party to other dating couples and telling your friend no because you don't like who they're dating is a slap in the face to your friend. Of course, there are exceptions to this, like if you're having a wedding and only want to extend dates to couples who are engaged, married, or cohabiting. Just my two cents!

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  3. I hate when I think it's a girls day at the pool and I end up being a 3rd wheel.. Sometimes I'm feeling bloated and don't want to be around the guys!!

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