Tuesday, October 20, 2015

Netflix & Chill and the BLOW OFF

If you ask me what my idea of a perfect date is, I would easily tell you that involves a good movie, wine and pizza. Some hot tub time is a bonus.

If you've read about my past "situationships," you will know that they all involve a LOT of the Netflix & Chill. It's just so easy to fall into that routine, especially when you are a 33 year old homebody.

*Note: I wasn't always a homebody. I spent all my twenties partying like there was no tomorrow. Then one day this switch went off and now I find myself spending an entire weekend binge watching Gilmore Girls. I would like to move to Stars Hollow, drink lots of coffee and pretend I am a Gilmore Girl (minus their magical eyes). So if I find a cute guy who will cuddle with me as I binge watch, it seems like the perfect situation. Except that it's not.

One of the biggest dating lessons that I've learned is the importance of the courtship. Guys care more about something they've invested in. For example, someone once told me not to get my hair done or buy a new dress for a first date because then I would be very invested in the outcome. Guys need to chase you, wine and dine you, so that when they finally win you over, it feels like the equivalent of their favorite team winning the superbowl. Netflix & Chill is way too easy. They barely have to make any efforts aside from opening the wine.

The thing is that chivalry seems to be fading fast. Guys will always be able to find a girl who is down for the Netflix & Chill and I can't even fault them. Also, once you've established this type of situation it becomes ten times harder to get a guy to start taking you out. When I started seeing a new guy, I quickly fell back into this comfortable pattern. Then a friend asked me "have you two left the house yet," and I realized there was a problem.

So what do we do? Seriously, I am posing that question to all of you. If you love yourself some Netflix nights how do you force yourself to go on dates? How do you get guys to ask you on real ones? Have you ever turned a Netflix & Chill situation into something more? Inquiring minds (mine) are dying to know!


  1. When I met my boyfriend, we talked about dating in Los Angeles (he was a transplant who has lived all over, but most recently Maui) and he said: "it's just really frustrating. No one wants to go out on a date anymore. I just want to take you to dinner and get to know you." Granted, he is from the midwest and is the sweetest most chivalrous man alive (next to my dad) but he has a point. I'm not an excellent dater by any means, I've had my fair share of frogs, but I've always been a strong believer in being courted. I get super frustrated with my friends that Netflix and Chill like 2 dates in. Why would he work for it if you've taught him he doesn't have to?! Make them take you out, have cocktails, have a nice dinner, and make them pay!! (Sorry if that's a little controversial, I am in my 30s, live alone and have a career, but I'm old fashioned like that)

  2. As a married woman with two kids (ages 3 and 1), Netflix and chill is the closest we get to dates most of the time. However once a month we force ourselves to go out on an actual date. What's the motivation? Food. We love food. We pick a new restaurant and just go. It's how we discovered a love for Indian pizza (seriously, it's ridiculously good). Once the kids get a bit older we may up it to twice a month, but it's a great start.