Thursday, October 15, 2015

sewing the seeds of love: why you should be dating multiple people

Men and women are different. We all know this. Most women enjoy talking about their feelings. Most men don't. Most women want to cuddle after sex. Most men don't. Most women pour their hearts out to their friends on a regular basis. Most men don't. Generally speaking, men and women also have different dating habits. And here's where the biggest difference lies between those of us with penises and those of us without:

Guys date multiple women at once, while women have a tendency to put all their dating eggs in one basket.

Guys want to have options. They have several women on their roto. They have all their burners going at once. My husband described it to me as horticulture. You want to plant various seeds at different times to make sure something is always growing. Eventually, you can have a steady flow of choices. I know, it sounds kind of terrible-- but maybe it makes more sense. Why take all your time nurturing one plant if that plant ends up wilting and dying? God damn, that's a lot of gardening metaphors.

I have a friend who threw herself into online dating and met a guy she really enjoys-- but she knows he's not the one. They've been seeing each other steadily (but nothing totally serious) and I suggested she keep going out on dates with other people, but she felt like she would have to give him a heads up about that.

All I could think is-- when was the last time a guy felt like he had to do the same with someone he was casually seeing? I'll tell you when: NEVER.

So, if women are born multitaskers, then why do we find it so difficult to multitask our men? Perhaps  we feel slut-shamed by society if dating a variety of people also means sleeping with a variety of people. Maybe we feel guilty having multiple options without being open and honest with all parties involved. Or maybe it's hard enough to find one guy we want to date, let alone a litter of dudes.

It's probably all of the above, but here's what I think. If you go on a date with someone you really like-- then go on another date with someone else. And don't feel guilty about it. Diversify your dating pool just like your stock portfolio (I have no idea what that means, but I think it's so you can make more money). If the guy you're currently seeing isn't the one, but you like sleeping with him and enjoy the companionship-- then by all means, keep dating him BUT date other people too. Think about it. More dating experiences = more stories you can share on the BLOW OFF. That's what I call a win-win, my bitches.

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