Thursday, January 5, 2017

Shout Out To My Ex

It's been a while since I've written a blog. It's been a while since I've written anything and this makes me sad. When I heard Little Mix's new song "Shout Out To My Ex," I felt inspired and let's be honest, we could all use some inspiration in these crazy times. So one must take it where one can get it, even if it comes from a British pop group covered in glitter. Actually, there's not much that is better than a British pop group covered in glitter.

It's like Perrie Edwards was singing my life. He fell in love with someone new. It bothered me for a bit, but now I'm over it and I hope she's getting better sex. After him, I transitioned to my bad pancake. If you watch Younger, you will now know that after ending a significant relationship, you should not jump into a relationship with the perfect guy because you are not in the correct mental place. It's like when you are cooking pancakes, you just know the first one is gonna burn. Having said that, my "bad pancake" was very handsome. Well, he is still handsome-- it's not like he died. He's just basically dead to me. Still, he is the reason that I am a publicist. Being a publicist has made me strong in ways that I never knew I could be. I like my job and I'm good at it (which makes it even more fun).

With a newfound confidence, I began hooking up with the hottest man in the world. I mean he was never named People's Hottest Man or anything, but hot and his posters certainly hung on some walls. It is the most interesting and exciting situation that I've ever been in. It's 50 Shades of Yassss.

You see, if I was still sitting on the couch watching my D-bag play video games, I would never had my relationship with the bad pancake and I could still be a miserable assistant to a woman who kept a camera on me, while I worked (I'm still slightly traumatized by that). I certainly would not be having so much fun with the hottest guy I have ever seen. So this is a shout out to my ex. He gave me heartbreak and that made me who I am. And who I am is the publicist who facilitated getting Corey Feldman on The Today Show. Twice. You are welcome for that by the way. Seriously though, I love the assertive, independent, confident, not afraid of no conflict, girl that I am right now.

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